episode 7 on growing up


“I promise I will call u whenever I need money or laundry to do.”

Well. I don't know; that's quite different from how we respond to children's questions. Like, "Milk -- is that made in a factory?" We will say, "No, it comes from cows," and we will talk about the farmer, and the way the milk ends up in the shop. We will not say, "No, milk is not made in a factory." So something strange happened here, and of course these children noticed that.

episode 7 on growing up。Universally known that puberty is thorny. Parents may have different views on it——like in this episode, father saying we have to stop him from having sex with a robot while mother saying no it is normal thing of puberty. Later, mom says that child always grows a monster.

As a philosopher and social scientist, I have been studying these questions about the concept of parenthood. But today, I will talk to you about what I learned from talking to parents and children. I will show you that they know what matters most in a family, even though their family looks a little different. I will show you their creative ways of dealing with tough questions. But I will also show you the parents' uncertainties.

The dialogue of rick and morty is always worth thinking twice. It reveals the bloody facts that we are used to avoiding talking.

Well. I want to tell you about a teenage boy. He was donor-conceived but not part of our study. One day, he had an argument with his father, and he yelled, "You're telling me what to do? You're not even my father!" That was exactly what the parents in our study feared. Now, the boy soon felt sorry, and they made up. But it is the reaction of his father that is most interesting.

That’s so ironic and also what happens in real life. We just cover it with so-called moving and awesome affection. Whenever there is a reveal there oomes thoughts of realistic unperfect.

He said, "This outburst had nothing to do with the lack of a genetic link. It was about puberty -- being difficult. It's what they do at that age. It will pass."

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Yet, these parents also wanted to justify their decisions through the tales they tell. They hoped that their children would understand their reasons for making the family in this way. Underlying was a fear that their children might disapprove and would reject the non-genetic parent. And that fear is understandable, because we live in a very heteronormative and geneticized society -- a world that still believes that true families consist of one mom, one dad and their genetically related children.

They feel nothing but at a loss what to do and then time goes children just become bigger and bigger even with so much regret.Reality does so.Like an old saying, ”life is like a boat. u can’t repair your boat on a shipyard but repair it on the sea while navigating. ”

We interviewed couples who received fertility treatment at Ghent University Hospital, using sperm from a donor. In this treatment timeline, you can see two points at which we conducted interviews. We included heterosexual couples, where the man for some reason did not have good-quality sperm, and lesbian couples who obviously needed to find sperm elsewhere. We also included children. I wanted to know how those children define concepts like parenthood and family. In fact, that is what I asked them, only not in that way. I drew an apple tree instead. This way, I could ask abstract, philosophical questions in a way that did not make them run off.

“my life is a lie!” little morty says so and then runs away.

What this man shows us is that when something goes wrong, we should not immediately think it is because the family is a little different. These things happen in all families. And every now and then, all parents may wonder: Am I a good enough parent? These parents, too. They, above all, wanted to do what's best for their child. But they also sometimes wondered: Am I a real parent? And their uncertainties were present long before they even were parents.

“I’m sorry that I lied to you and yelled to you just like my parents did.”

In that case, bear in mind three things. Work with advice that works for your family. Remember -- you're the expert, because you live your family life. And finally, believe in your abilities and your creativity, because you can do it yourself.

This animation always contains deep meaning and realistic ironies.

At this point, none of the children started mentioning the donor. So, I asked them about their birth story. I said, "Before you were born, it was just your mom and dad, or mom and mommy. Can you tell me how you came into the family?" And they explained. One said, "My parents did not have good seeds, but there are friendly men out there who have spare seeds. They bring them to the hospital, and they put them in a big jar. My mommy went there, and she took two from the jar, one for me and one for my sister. She put the seeds in her belly -- somehow -- and her belly grew really big, and there I was."

We see that things can also go wrong even we do all have good original intention. And parents are just children who have children. Yesterday they are having sex and then today they have a child. We all admit that having sex is not equal to mature, do we? Then why would we think that parents must have grown mature. That’s paradox.

One boy said, "I asked my parents loads of questions, but they acted really weird. So, you know, I have a friend at school, and she's made in the same way. When I have a question, I just go and ask her." Clever guy. Problem solved. But his parents did not notice, and it certainly was not what they had in mind, nor what the counselor had in mind when they were saying how important it is to be an open-communication family.

So as you can see, the apple tree is empty. And that illustrates my research approach. By designing techniques like this, I can bring as little meaning and content as possible to the interview, because I want to hear that from them.


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